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Just when you think you've got it kinda bad...BOOM. Wednesday morning I woke up looking like a bad version of Lisa Rinna - my lips so swollen I couldn't close my mouth - and hives popping up like bubbles in a soda all over my body. Steroids, prayers and 24 hours later - I'm still hivey and I literally want to shred the skin of my hands and between my fingers, the itch - even after glazing myself with eczema lotion is raging. The culprit appears to be scallops which means one more entry on the naughty food list. My ears still look like raw meat - thank God for long hair. I still have swelling and hives on my face - but wow. Thank God my throat didn't close up - right? I have a ton of newfound respect for anyone who deals with chronic skin issues. I don't know how you do it. I really just want to gnaw my hands off right now. -Peace
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Upon seeing both basement dwellers freshly shorn:
FC: your hair would look so cute in a bob Me: I wore a bob cut for several years but I grew it out because I don't want to look like a middle aged mom. FC stares me up and down for a full second: But Mom...(hand gestures to all of me) you are a middle aged mom. "It's easy." They said.
"Just take it home and wear it overnight." they said. The science of it all suspect because if I weren't getting oxygen would I even be dealing with tech that measures it, in the boudior? In an attempt to comply I cinch my chinstrap, adjust my nose mauler and bandaide the oximeter to my dominant paw because any stronger tape triggers a Tammy. I'm not a fan of being taped to things. As if sleepy time weren't already complicated by FIFTY MILES OF TUBING coiled serpentine around the bedpost - now my finger is on the oximeter short leash. And of course the meter has a happy blinky light from the fifth level of hell. The implement of torture hit the floor multiple times - yanking my digits in the process before I stuffed it under the edge of my pillow. I lasted about four hours before ripping everything off and tossing it at the night stand. Someone needs to invent a tubeless - wireless CPap because one of these days I'm going to hang myself simply getting up in the dark... It's Monday morning and my errant inner toddler is not havin' it. She is face down, kicking and screaming while I'm trying my hardest to adult. So many reasons my heart is heavy this morning - most of which are useless to share...but I'm choosing one random item: I miss breakfast. I miss curling up on the couch on Saturday mornings with a cup of coffee while my husband prepared some eggy, bacony green chile feast. I miss watching the resident feline (God rest her hairy soul) green eyes fixed and face as close as possible to my son's plate. I miss the male couch pile. Food was love. And now with this new eating and health plan - food is a neccesary evil. If I relent - even a little bit - the consequences right now are crushing to my little ego. This morning I feel defeated - but even more so - I feel irrelevent. Most days it doesn't matter because I am a grown woman who will not be run rough shod by some silly wistful day dream - but once in a while my inner toddler just wants to matter. She had dreams.... growing up to be me wasn't one of them.
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TL BOehmDo people blog anymore or is it just me? Archives
January 2023
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