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Hear my heart: I am aware of the political climate right now and where many of my dear friends and family align. I've made a few comments here and there but honestly the situation with my mother is and must be primary for me. That being said, there is the "Take a knee" movement and its got the dendrites attempting to fire. Taking a knee in protest is protected by the first amendment - generally - and I have no quarrel with peaceful protest under this jurisdiction. But here is why I wouldn't do it myself - even if I were actively engaged in protesting for/against something for which I am passionate and able to devote myself to in protest. The ONLY time this chick takes a knee is to look directly into the eyes of a child tinier than me who needs my attention or because I am praying and or surrendering to God. All other causes get me standing firm and prepared to fight where and when necessary. The militant mix of Scandinavian DNA and faith equates taking a knee to "surrender" - putting me in a position where my enemy could take my head. So maybe its a cultural thing for me? Am I too bellicose? I'd just rather go out swinging my broadsword. (pun that last line all you want) - AGAIN. HEAR MY HEART - this isn't your alignment - but about protest itself - and how the mechanism of protest can incite the change you really want. Peace.
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It took mom ten years to stop asking me every time we spoke when I was going to divorce "that son of a .... I married." Suffice it to say, the hub and I swore we would never have mom live with us. Never swear anything. Am I being selfish? Right now her comfort and safety are primary and my employment is primary. She doesn't want to leave her home and her pets - and I cannot work remotely from her home. (no wifi and my phone is not capable of becoming a hotspot) Again, if you know her - she is not a woman who concedes. It would be easier for me to have her safe under my roof. - but like Ike and Tina - "we never do anything nice, easy." (if you get the reference - you are my people)
I've had my chain yanked so much in the past month I now cringe when I hear the links rattle. Although I love my mom, I love her because love is a choice. When I say I "survived" my childhood - it is a literal statement. My friends called her the dragon lady and she reveled in it. She was always quick witted, predatory - a survivor. It makes her confusion and her frailty alarming to me. I have my own claws and fangs but she was always alpha and any hackling up on my part was met with instant teeth around my throat. I can and will protect her but there will be ugly snot cries in my future - not because I am weak - but because I am just as dangerous as she was. Cancer and dementia don't play but then neither do I. I am my mother's daughter. The only difference between us at the core are the choices we have made.
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TL BOehmDo people blog anymore or is it just me? Archives
January 2023
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