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I was today years old when I realized that while my heart is full of passion and my head is full of visions for my creative future - my reality is that I am inert in my chair, searching for Jackson Five vids on YouTube and binge coloring Happy Color pics. I’ve just completed a cheese. Yes instead of writing - I’m tapping on images of dairy products. I need an intervention
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Sunday morning, quiet roads and I am churchbound with a Costco pie, baked mac and cheese, a fresh jar of green chile (if you know, you know) and slow cooked beans. Suddenly the "Other Woman" (Dave's Sport Trac) decides I only need first and second gear...so I limp the ailing vehicle into a parking lot and call for backup. Ignition off, all is quiet and I contemplate the gravity of my situation: a woman alone with mac and cheese, green chile, and a spoon. The Hub, also understanding the gravity of the situation arrived quickly to rescue the mac - uh, me. The food arrived unscathed to the church and the "Other Woman" is inert in the driveway. Sigh...
I'm not attempting to be clandestine, rather if you know me - you know I am prone to overshare. Unfortunately, the older I get - the more my body and my soul obey gravity. To the detriment of dreams. And so - my soul does this awkward skitter between excitement and fear. I'm not a victim but I've had enough people I held in regard hand me my soft underparts - shredded on a plate to find risk of any variety cringeworthy. But I will share this: I am committing myself to publication. I have hundreds of poems, and multiple novels in various stages of completion. Along with this - I will be redeveloping a writer platform. I will be posting on my writer page here as well as an independent website - and I have a couple of other "targets" pending. For those of you who follow my writer page, I so appreciate you. And for those of you who don't - I'll post the link if you're interested. I'm not "selling" anything - and I'm not planning to beg for likes and shares. There will be poetry and random thoughts - a little silliness from time to time and excerpts. I am always open to comments on a project. There is so much more I want to share and I will when the spine grows a bit. Peace. https://www.facebook.com/TammyLBoehm
So amongst the journal entries and general administrative drudgeries for the fiefdom planned for this fair day - I - Queen of the known realm was going to try some cool makeup and hair tricks because - middle age has run rough shod across my face and unfortunately for me I cannot sequester in the attic and pen best sellers. Even writing has a nasty visual aspect to it. But wait! I awaken before the dawn with the eye of Sauron blazing in my cranium. I can barely focus let alone practice my cat liner bit. All is not lost however. Perhaps the bleary, teary puffy abomination formerly known as my left orb will garner me sympathy bacon from the King? Its worth a shot. Peace.
Almost two months since you passed. You would have been 76 today. I still catch myself looking at the phone as I think of calling you - but I don't reach for it...We would have spoken already this morning. Perhaps we would have firmed up that dinner out at the Anchor Inn for some shrimp. Or maybe I would have brought your secret recipe "seafood yuk" over and we would have shared a meal with a cat or two in our laps. I would have called you "Old woman" and told you you looked like your dad. Especially your hair. And I would have suggested we take you to get those lavender highlights in it. You would have responded by telling me you still wanted a yellow rose tattoo on your leg. But like the rare dreams I now have of you in the hours before dawn - our conversations are kept in my heart. You are pictures and memories and in this moment I still wait for the day when your legacy doesn't make me ache. I miss you mom.
It must be Monday - even though its Tuesday. I say this because its 6:05 am and I am at my desk at work- and my coffee mug is on my kitchen counter. I've scraped off most of the crust from my teeny tiny office pot and am attempting a generic brew - but it simply won't taste as delicious as the stuff I left behind. This is my reward for assuming I would be productive today as I woke up before the alarm and left before the usual time...Yep.
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TL BOehmDo people blog anymore or is it just me? Archives
January 2023
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