"Morning" person

I used to be a "morning" person. The quiet hours before sunlight burns and the world accelerates were when I was most creative. Since 2016 - mornings have become problematic. And in the past few weeks? They're next to impossible. Everyone processes trauma differently and trauma itself is subjective. I miss my mom, but even more I miss what could have been. And I struggle to not be overwhelmed by the physical wreckage left in her wake. There is a part of me that wants to walk away from all of it. To get in the car and put a state or two in my rear view mirror. To find a quiet place, lock myself in a room with a view and write until I cannot write anymore. Adulting at this level simply sucks. And running multiple concurrent emotions through the brain - that sucks too.