On Mother's day

So many beautiful posts about Mother's Day. To borrow a phrase from my elder heir: "I have big feelings about it." I love my mom. I question her logic in bringing me into this world as she often was bent on taking me out of it, but I do love her as love is a choice and I have chosen to forgive and love. As for my own spawn - I love them too but I miss them deeply. They are grown and I am irrelevant. I used to tell my self - even when they were babies that my job was to get them to adult hood so they could go live their own lives. Success therefore is bittersweet. I miss the jokes, the chats, breakfast on Saturdays, the conversations consisting of song lyrics, movie quotes and inside jokes. I miss hearing about their plans for the future. I miss voluntary hugging. Most days I try not to think about it - because I chose to have them knowing one day they would fledge. But sometimes I get big feelings - and I'm struggling to diffuse them. Tomorrow will be better.