The danger of rice cakes

The rule that governs condiment laden bread landing face down on a surface is directly proportional to the cost of said surface is also applicable to rice cakes. In a hedge effort to mitigate the rule and accomodate my restrictive diet, I determined myself to ingest a layer of sardines, carefully placed atop one saltless rice cake, while standing over my sink. As hypothesized, the puffy piscean vehicle failed not once, but twice, resulting in a fishy fallout. What I had not envisioned was the Murphy effect wherein fishbits bounced off my person - specifically my hair, prior to their terminus in my sink. While olive oil may be beneficial - sardine infused stuff does not a perfume make. After washing my graying tresses with hand soap in my bathroom sink I have come to the conclusion that delicate rice cakes are best used for a veneer of almond butter or home made hummus. Live and learn. #followmeformoresnackideas