Ungrateful?

Recently I've been hearing someone I hold in regard tell me more and more frequently that I am "not grateful" and while I understand the assumption - I am not "ungrateful." I am sad. I am grieving for those people, those hopes, those dreams I have lost. And as I stand in places of "empty" in my heart - I am reticent to fill it with another person or hope or dream only to incur more loss. I've been hit in every area of my life with loss over the past two years. In all of this - I don't "hate or blame God" but I struggle with the sadness. I miss my mom deeply. I miss being able to chat over a meal with my elder spawn and his family. I miss being pain and daily med free. I miss being involved in a creative business endeavor. And I miss all of these things because I WAS grateful for them. I need patience and a kind word or two right now. I will move through this. All of it. And I know its taking longer than what is comfortable for those who have to deal wtih me and my angst daily. I'm not wallowing in my maisma - but I cannot stand before anyone right now in my sparkly unicorn tutu shouting "superhappyfuntime." I need a moment. And I am truly grateful for those who will understand that - and I believe that includes my Creator.